The Biggest Life Decision You Will Ever Make

The biggest life decision in life for many is life itself. Deciding whether to live or not can be the easiest or hardest things to do in life. The sad thing is that too many people choose to not live. There is one suicide for every 25 attempted suicides. Each year 44,193 people commit suicide and there is about one death per fifteen minutes. On average, there are 121 suicides per day according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website page.

Let that sink in. People get so depressed that they think the only way to get out of that state of mind is by taking their own lives. There are, of course, medicines to prevent from feeling a certain way. However, it takes weeks for them to work, only people who have some health care insurance can afford them, and doctors may go through many different medications before finding the one suited for the individual it is prescribed to.

Many people cannot afford medications or insurance. Over 44 million people in the United States of America alone do not have any health insurance whatsoever and there is many, many more people in the world that do not even understand the concept of what health care insurance is because they have never been around it. So many people in this world are living an unforgiving life and cannot find any light in the world.

About 350 million people are depressed in the United States alone. That means about thirteen percent of people that are depressed end up taking their own life. When taking a new medication, the doctor gives the medication and the medicine takes anywhere from a week to several weeks to work. This means there are several weeks to be accounted for. So many things could happen during these weeks. For example, someone could get cyberbullied and decide to harm themselves because 25 percent of teenagers report that they have experienced repeated bullying via their cell phone, or on the internet and 52 percent of young people report being cyber bullied.

I am one of the lucky ones. I have harmed myself once, threatened to kill myself about three times, and have been to three different behavioral hospitals. I did not do it for attention. I did not do it for fun. The first time I felt that I did not belong on this world was when I was thirteen. I was barely a teenager. My friend told me that she was going to kill herself. I told her that if she was going to, then I would. I truly believed this would prevent her from doing it. Turns out she was never going to do it. She just wanted to get a reaction out of me.

The second time I threatened to kill myself was when I was fourteen and that was because I found out the father I had been calling “Dad” for thirteen years turned out to not be my father. The last time I threatened to kill myself was probably the most helpful time. I was in a place of complete depression. I honestly felt I did not belong on this world. That was the worst feeling I could have ever had. I could blame it on the people around me for making me feel a certain way, but, it was my own feelings that made me feel a certain way.

This time when I was admitted to the hospital, they found out something about me. They found out that I have bipolar disorder. When I found this out, I cried. A lot. It is not something that I can help. It is not something that I could have prevented. It is a part of me. It is a part of who I am. It sucks that I cannot change it and I really hate it, but I have found medication. Luckily, I have health insurance. Therefore, I could get the medication for a little price. A lot of people are nowhere near this lucky.

[If you or anyone you know is contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 800-273-8255, 24-Hours a Day. Talk to a parent, teacher, counselor, priest, or any adult or friend you can trust. Do not go through this alone.]